Car 3

Dame Vitrola Feldmoue

Outward appearance

Huge mauve spectacles, henna-red hair, pink shirt, blue denim jacket, multi-coloured ski coat. Leans back, and growls at her neighbour.

Inside information

Famous actress, currently rehearsing The Way of the World at the National. Long acquaintance with her own profession makes her impatient with fantasists and phonies.

She is carrying small arms in her handbag.

What she is doing or thinking

From the moment she got on, Vitrola thought she was watching a show. It was quite fascinating. Either they were very good or something had gone wrong. The way the actor sat down on two people. You couldn't, couldn't time a double mistake like that.

But when his second victim, the fake City gent, scuttled across to the seat next to hers, it all began to look rehearsed. She smelled it: failed actor, poncing about for free.

"This is a put on, isn't it?" she growls at him. He pretends to look blank. In case there is a hidden camera, Vitrola calculates how to raise a laugh and insult him at the same time. She smiles tigerishly. "You know one of these days they'll stop giving actors benefit, and you'll have to work for a living."

Two policemen get on at her stop, and she looks back over her spectacles at the actor. She asks with her eyebrows: Are these part of the show too? He's too alarmed to notice.

That tells her: the policemen are real. As real as anything gets. She stands up to go. Her guns clank.

God, she thinks, if only we had a real Conservative government.

Previous passenger
Next passenger
Car 3 map
Journey Planner